Sporting events out here have become almost comical. Anyway, thanks for your wise words and I really appreciate your example of the lady in the gym. I will try to remember that the next time I try to judge someone.
What a helpful blog entry. Thank you. I have sensed insecurity in myself in the form of judging and went looking for a blog that might address it. The part about being curious was so helpful. It seems like it would allow empathy to maybe take the place of the judgement.
So I will be forgiven. Such a beautiful post. I have noticed that I am becoming aware I judge others. The other day , I judge friends for their mistakes in their relationships. How unaware they are and selfish…no coherent,etc. Now, I feel bad myself for being so critical.
Great post! Laws act to prevent certain actions, like murder and theft, because we judge those actions to be wrong, and destructive to society. We can and should judge the actions of an overweight person eating fast food, or a drunk person getting in their car.
Their actions may be understandable, but it does not make their actions acceptable, or good. Not a good idea. Judgement is a powerful tool and we need to be careful not to beat other people over the head with it. I was told tonight that I was a judgemental person. It hit me like a ton of bricks because I felt I was one of the least judgemental people I knew.
But was I really? I started to self reflect and wanted to learn more of what being judgemental really meant, so began to search and read. Along the way I ended up here. What an eye opener! Such an insightful blog and thank you to all the other posters for sharing your experiences as well. A lot of it hit home for me. I will admit that through out my travels I lost some of my empathy and compassion along the way. So thank you all for helping to open my eyes and mind.
I definitely have some work ahead of me and I think curiosity is a great place to start. I am judgemental a lot about appearance. Thank you so very much! Your article has spared me from self torture lasting any longer than it had to. Life has been such a beautiful experience, full of good and bad.
A few years ago, not so much. It feels so much better inside once we reach that place! Those reading this, you can do it!!! Make a choice to find peace! Be kind to yourself!! Just as you get down on yourself, praise yourself!! Love always wins! Chin up, wings out! Be the person you seek others to be! It all starts with ourselves! Go inside and listen, the answer is always found deep within! I would admit that I have judged.
What I feel irritated about, is when others tell me that they have every right to judge another person. I agree with this article. I am so happy to have come across this article!!! I am 22 years old as of last month and have struggled throughout life with judgment of both myself and others. I have the most judgment around those areas of life in myself and I see it reflected a lot in how I have judged others. Another area is in regards to relationships, I have struggled historically in the past to feel secure in my abilities to be lovable and also in fear of enmeshment or commitment.
I can see much clearer now that the things I would get frustrated in others for was a big mirror to the things I was afraid to work on within myself. I also think that boundaries are important and that by developing a secure sense of self AND boundaries that judgment will lessen. Before I used to let others walk all over me and resentment would build up rather than me just allowing myself to be vulnerable with how I really felt which was hurt or afraid or rejected etc.
Thank you again so much for writing this, it was something I needed to read and remind myself because intellectually knew it from a couple years of research, and this coming up has helped to freshen that seed in my brain. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Over a decade ago, I was drowning in the despondency of yet another workday. My success as the top regional performer had been numbed by a culture of incessant workplace bullying. In short, I was collateral damage in a company without the process or intention to address my experience.
Exhausted from the drama, with an unrecognizable version of myself at the wheel, I intentionally swerved off the interstate in an attempt to take my own life. But in that half-second, my reflexes responded, and I yanked the wheel away from disaster. As I clipped the guardrail on I , something changed I am interested in Do you know what judging others reveals about you? A lot. Judgment can really be an ugly thing. Yes, judgment really is such an ugly thing.
The Truth About Judgment When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself. Whenever I slip up and start becoming judgmental of others, I take a step back, and remind myself of this truth: We usually judge others in the areas where we feel the weakest. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever. You and I, we judge others.
And they judge us. We all do it. Sometimes we judge with positive or non-harming intentions. I believe we judge for the first reason because our minds want to simplify the processing of information by putting environmental clues into categories.
For me personally, when I judge for the second and third reasons, I have especially negative emotions and thoughts toward others. I try hard not to judge, and have been doing so less and less, but I still have a ways to go. I used to judge people , especially men, when I learned that they had been unfaithful to their girlfriends.
As soon as I learned about the situation, I would feel resistance and anger building up inside me. I would immediately begin insulting them in my head, and sometimes would actually verbalize it if there was someone to discuss it with. Today, I rarely react like this. I know not to judge someone based on their actions because everyone makes mistakes, and some people prefer to behave in a way not everyone else can relate to.
The least amount of judging we can do, the better off we are, says Michael J Fox. But interestingly a cousin confesses that she enjoys judging other people, it helps her boost self-esteem and she feels better about herself. Here are a few of the most important reasons why we should not judge other people. So judge less, accept more, and restore your happiness. Can Mamata go national? Successful coalitions at the Centre have been usually headed by leaders with weak power bases.
Is a green Diwali possible? Ultra right and wrong: Women in India face a new threat to their freedom of choice. Nehru, Iqbal, cricket and the question of Muslim identity. Will history say Xi Huzoor? In social psychology, attribution is the process by which individuals explain the causes of behaviour and events. Attributions are thoughts we have about others that help us make sense of why people do the things they do.
As exists attribution theory, there exist attribution biases, too, like fundamental attribution error. More often, our focus is on the behaviour, ignoring the situation or the context or the circumstances which lead to that behaviour. Jung stated our shadow as the unknown, unconscious, dark side of our personality. According to Jung, the shadow—being instinctive and irrational—is prone to psychological projection in which perceived personal inferiority is recognized as a perceived moral deficiency in someone else.
American-British psychologist Raymond Cattell, known for his psychometric research, identified 16 factors or dimensions of personality that we all possess. All of our personalities are actually made up of the same traits; we differ only in the degree to which each trait is expressed. According to Cattell, people simply express these traits in different ways, at different times, and in different areas of their lives.
Some may be dominant, and some may be dormant. The world around us is our mirror, and judging someone does not define who they are—it defines who we are.
More often than not, the things we detest and judge in others are a reflection of the things we cannot accept about ourselves. The yardstick we use for ourselves is the yardstick we use for the world. The way you measure yourself is how you measure others, and how you assume others measure you. Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves, a self-awareness. Judging is relative, our constant comparison or validation of everything that we perceive with what we believe.
Our beliefs may have been a function of our own personality traits, our conditioning at multiple levels like societal, cultural, or religious , and our life experiences.
So, judging is never absolute to others from their frame of reference. But, are people or their situations that we judge part of this equation?
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