We hear about it frequently in the media and have seen the marriages of friends or relatives that have been devastated by affairs. It's no surprise that many couples internally ask the question, "How would I cope?
It's particularly common to also wonder if your own marriage could survive such a serious betrayal. Popular psychologist and self-help book author, Dr. Harriet Lerner writes about this in a PsychologyToday. She writes,. Affairs have many sources, and opportunity and work context are among the predisposing factors.
Marriage can survive infidelity, but it is important to remember certain facts:. Many professionals have seen marriages not only survive infidelity but become better than before. It is true that a marriage can survive an extra-marital affair.
But, this will only happen if both partners are willing to acquire and use the skills necessary to make their marriage successful. Developing a new way of interacting requires you both to:. Some feelings that are prominent when a married couple experiences cheating include:. Your marriage can survive this onslaught of feelings. However, some marriages are not meant to be saved.
These are very entrenched issues that are often not changeable. It is challenging for the betrayed partner to know if they can give the spouse a "second chance. If your spouse is a serial cheater, it may be time to throw in the towel. Seek support. It can help to share your experience and feelings with trusted friends or loved ones who can support, encourage and walk along with you on your healing path. Avoid people who tend to be judgmental, critical or biased. Some spiritual leaders have training and might be helpful.
Consider seeing a well-trained, experienced marriage and family therapist alone or together. Recovering from an affair will be one of the most challenging chapters in your life. This challenge may come with ambivalence and uncertainty. However, as you rebuild trust, admit guilt, learn how to forgive and reconcile struggles, it can deepen and strengthen the love and affection we all desire. If you are both committed to healing your relationship despite the pain, the reward can be a new type of marriage that will continue to grow and likely exceed your previous expectations.
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One way or another, it's clear that infidelity can get messy, and the decision on whether to stay or go is not an easy one to make. For a personal testimony on this, read My Spouse Cheated. Here's Why I Didn't Leave. To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to follow us on Instagram!
All Rights Reserved. Open side menu button. Whether you stay or go has a lot to do with your gender and relationship status. By Diana Bruk May 7, Diana is a senior editor who writes about sex and relationships, modern dating trends, and health and wellness.
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